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Partner ignored by family wonders why – Chicago Tribune

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Dear Amy: I am 35; my “fiance” is 40.

We have been engaged for 11 years.

My question is NOT about why we haven’t gotten married.

I am wondering why his father has not made any attempt to make me feel welcome, even after so many years of us being together.

Almost every weekend, his father comes over and picks up my fiancé. They then go back to his dad’s house to hang out for the majority of the day.

Even the simplest greetings are met with blank stares. He completely ignores my presence!

Amy, I can’t even get a “hello” out of the man.

My partner always says, “Just give him time.” Then he changes the subject.

My family has gone out of their way to make my partner feel welcome, because they know that I love him and he is a part of my life.

I just don’t understand why he hasn’t done anything to remedy the situation. Or why I have not gotten a valid reason for his father’s choice to completely alienate me, even though he welcomed in his brother’s psycho girlfriend into their lives with open arms.

Am I wrong for wanting to be accepted by his family?

And if not, then to at least be given a reason as to why I’m not accepted?

– Left Out Woman

Dear Left Out: You aren’t wrong to want acceptance from your partner’s family – or anyone.

However – you and your “fiancé” (to use your quote-marks) are extremely passive in your response to it.

Your 11-year engagement might be a clue that you two are extremely similar when it comes to your passivity (and patience).

Being similar does not mean you are well-matched, however.

“Give him time” is an elastic concept to your man. Glaciers have melted faster than he seems to move.

This problem should call up larger questions for you: If this man has been rude to you for over a decade, why haven’t you called him on it? And why hasn’t your guy?

Also – would you spend part of every weekend hanging out with someone who was mean to the person you loved – even if your hang-buddy was your parent?

As passive and patient as you have been, this might be the moment for you to consult your sundial and say, “time’s up.”

Dear Amy: My older brother is getting married this summer, his second marriage. He practices a very conservative Christian belief and told me that because I am a gay man I am a sinner and will go to hell in the afterlife.

His children told me that they pray for my salvation.

For my entire youth he abused and tortured me physically, emotionally, and sexually.

We are both in our 60s now and for most of our lives have had very little contact.

I don’t want to go to his wedding, however, my mother is putting a lot of pressure on me to go.

The thought of going to the wedding makes me anxious and angry.

I don’t want to see him or his family, but I feel guilty not supporting my mother. What should I do?

– Confused Brother

Dear Confused: Do not give in to your mother’s pressure. Understand with compassion that she may be hoping to heal the rift between you and your brother, but, unless she has also urged your brother to atone for his behavior and ask for forgiveness, any contact should be up to you.

Stay calm, and offer to help your mother by asking a friend or family member to accompany her.

Dear Amy: I was a bit disturbed by your advice to “Accused of Desertion,” who decided to fly home alone after their partner tested positive for COVID.

What I think was missed entirely is the fact that a close contact of someone who is COVID positive – even if they themselves have had a negative test – may still be infected and putting others at risk by getting on a flight.

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No-nonsense advice for better living delivered to your inbox every morning. For a limited time, sign up for the Ask Amy newsletter and get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.

I know that public health guidance has been confusing and inconsistent, but the current CDC guidance is to defer travel for at least five days after last contact with the infected person, and test at that time.

I would implore anyone who is unable or unwilling to isolate or quarantine at their destination to rethink air travel for now.

– An Exhausted Physician

Dear Exhausted: Thank you for the clarification and advice. And thank you for the hard work trying to keep people healthy and safe.

Got a question for Amy? Enter it here and we’ll send it to her.

Sign up here to receive the Ask Amy newsletter to get advice e-mailed to your inbox every morning, and for a limited time — get the book “Ask Amy: Essential Wisdom from America’s Favorite Advice Columnist” for $5.

©2021 Amy Dickinson.

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Solar storms may cause up to 5500 heart-related deaths in a given year

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In an approximate 11-year cycle, the sun blasts out charged particles and magnetised plasma that can distort Earth’s magnetic field, which may disrupt our body clock and ultimately affect our heart



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17 June 2022

A solar storm

Jurik Peter/Shutterstock

Solar storms that disrupt Earth’s magnetic field may cause up to 5500 heart-related deaths in the US in a given year.

The sun goes through cycles of high and low activity that repeat approximately every 11 years. During periods of high activity, it blasts out charged particles and magnetised plasma that can distort Earth’s magnetic field.

These so-called solar storms can cause glitches in our power grids and bring down Earth-orbiting satellites. A handful of studies have also hinted that they increase the risk of …

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UK Covid infection rate rising, with more than a million cases in England | Coronavirus

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Coronavirus infections are rising in the UK, figures have revealed, with experts noting the increase is probably down to the more transmissible BA.4 and BA.5 Omicron variants.

The figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS), based on swabs collected from randomly selected households, reveal that in the week ending 11 June an estimated one in 50 people in the community in England are thought to have had Covid – around 1.13 million people.

The figure is even higher, at one in 45, in both Wales and Northern Ireland, while it was highest in Scotland where, in the week ending 10 June, one in 30 people are thought to have been infected.

While the figures remain below the peak levels of infection seen earlier this year, when around one in 13 people in England had Covid, the findings are a rise on the previous week where one in 70 people in England were thought to be infected. Furthermore, the data reveals increases in all regions of England, except the north-east, and across all age groups.

Experts say that a key factor in the increase is probably the rise of the Covid variants of concern BA.4 and BA.5.

“Infections have increased across all four UK nations, driven by rising numbers of people infected with the BA.4 and BA.5 Omicron variants,” said Kara Steel, senior statistician for the Covid-19 Infection Survey.

While Steel said it remained too early to say if this was the start of another wave, others have warned it may already have begun, with increased mixing and travelling among other factors fuelling a rise in cases.

Among concerns scientists have raised are that BA.4, BA.5 and another variant on the rise, BA.2.12.1, replicate more efficiently in human lung cells than BA.2.

Prof Azra Ghani, an epidemiologist at Imperial College London, said the latest figures were not surprising, and might rise further.

“This increase in infection prevalence is likely due to the growth of the BA.4 and BA.5 Omicron subvariants, which as we have seen elsewhere in Europe, appear to be able to escape immunity generated from previous Omicron subvariants,” she said.

“It is therefore possible that we will continue to see some growth in infection prevalence in the coming weeks and consequently an increase in hospitalisations, although these subvariants do not currently appear to result in any significantly changed severity profile. This does however serve as a reminder that the Covid-19 pandemic is not over.”

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NHS to offer women in England drug that cuts recurrence of breast cancer | Breast cancer

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Thousands of women in England with breast cancer are to benefit from a new pill on the NHS which reduces the risk of the disease coming back.

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice) has given the green light to abemaciclib, which cuts the chance of breast cancer returning after a patient has had surgery to remove a tumour.

Trials showed that patients who had the drug with hormone therapy had a more than 30% improved chance of their cancer not coming back after surgery, compared with hormone therapy alone.

“It’s fantastic thousands of women with this type of primary breast cancer will now have an additional treatment option available on the NHS to help further reduce the risk of the disease coming back,” said Delyth Morgan, the chief executive of charity Breast Cancer Now.

“The fear of breast cancer returning or spreading to other parts of their body and becoming incurable can cause considerable anxiety for so many women and their loved ones.

“New effective treatments such as abemaciclib, which can offer more women the chance to further reduce the risk of the disease recurring, are therefore extremely welcome and this is an important step change in the drug options available for this group of patients.”

The twice-a-day pill is suitable for women with hormone receptor-positive, HER2-negative, node-positive early breast cancer at high risk of recurrence who have had surgery. About 4,000 women will benefit initially, Nice said.

Helen Knight, the interim director of medicines evaluation at Nice, said the draft recommendation came less than a month after abemaciclib received its licence.

“The fact that we have been able to produce draft recommendations so quickly is testament to the success of our ambition to support patient access to clinically and cost effective treatments as early as possible,” said Knight. “Until now there have been no targeted treatments for people with this type of breast cancer.

“Abemaciclib with hormone therapy represents a significant improvement in how it is treated because being able to have a targeted treatment earlier after surgery will increase the chance of curing the disease and reduce the likelihood of developing incurable advanced disease.”

Abemaciclib works by targeting and inhibiting proteins in cancer cells which allow the cancer to divide and grow. It normally costs £2,950 for a packet of 56 150mg-tablets, but the manufacturer, Eli Lilly, has agreed an undisclosed discounted price for NHS England.

“Thanks in part to this latest deal struck by NHS England, NHS patients will be able to access another new targeted drug for a common and aggressive form of breast cancer,” said Prof Peter Johnson, the cancer director of NHS England.

“Abemaciclib, when used alongside a hormone therapy, offers a new, doubly targeted, treatment option, helping to increase the chances of beating the cancer for good, as well as meeting the NHS’s commitment to delivering improved cancer care under our long-term plan.”

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